The Bay Head Beacon

The Bay Head Witches Coven (BHWC) is holding open enrollment this month for the area's local witch coven. Anyone interested in joining must submit their application before November 1 to be considered. High Witch of the Bay Head Witches Coven,  Samantha Stevens,  says that anyone who is currently an unaligned witch, or who just thinks they might have a knack for the dark arts should apply as soon as possible or attend one of their information sessions to learn more. "We have several BHWC open houses and information sessions coming up," said Witch Stevens. "My mother, Endora,  who is a former high witch, will be giving the welcoming remarks. My daughter Tabitha will be manning the information booth. And Dr. Bombay will be on hand to do health screenings. Of course, we will also be serving refreshments and potions." The Bay Head Witches Coven is the largest coven at the Jersey shore and has been active for over 200 years. "When this coven started in 1817, ther...

Point Borough Council member, Guy Izzaquitter, resigned at a recent meeting. He read a prepared speech and then left the meeting room.  "Frederick Nietzsche said, ' And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' I firmly believe this is the perfect time to take my leave of you." Izzaquitter then walked out of the meeting room, but returned a minute later when he realized he had forgotten his hat. Assistant to the mayor, Holden DeLine, said, "What was Mr. Izzaquitter talking about? Something about dancing? I never really noticed him before tonight." Guy Izzaquitter said that he thinks he made his point. "I think my message was perfectly clear. Anyone who doesn't like me will take it one way. Anyone who does like me will take it another. Anyone who knows me will understand exactly what I meant. Anyone who I see in the supermarket will probably not know that I said it. Anyone who doesn't speak Engl...

Eighty-four year old Muddy Waterman has lived along the Point Pleasant Canal his entire life. He has piloted many boats through the channel, fished along its banks, and watched as the traffic of water craft has increased over the years. This experience has made him something of an expert on the canal. That's why when Muddy Waterman says something about it, people listen. "I don't know exactly why," said Waterman, "but for some reason the canal just seems a lot wetter than it used to be."  This unusual assertion is not supported by science. When asked about Waterman's remarks, a prominent aqua scientist said, "How did you get this number?" However, a less prominent aqua scientist stated that water can't be "wetter." Muddy Waterman is undeterred. "I know what I know," he said. "It's simple. If you have one puddle, it's wet. And you have another puddle, that's also wet. But you put them together in one pudd...

Dr. Hugh Mungus of Stockton University has spent the last six months working on the restoration of a unique archeological find. Last year a fishing boat reported seeing an ice berg off the coast of Point Pleasant. When the Coast Guard investigated, they realized that there was something frozen inside. They towed it to a dock in Bay Head and contacted Dr. Mungus.  "What I saw inside the ice was truly amazing," said Dr. Mungus. "It was a huge violin, or viola that seemed to be completely intact. I immediately assumed that it must be an artifact that once belonged to a Greenland Giant." The warming of northern climates has resulted in some unexpected discoveries as ice melts. One of the most well known and exciting is the Greenland Giants. In 2009, archeologists found that a race of giants, over 30 feet tall, had once lived in a settlement in Greenland. Scientists estimated that at its peak, there were as many as 2,000 giant humans living in Greenland in a European sty...