The Bay Head Beacon

On the corner of Arnold Ave. and River Ave, in Point Pleasant Beach is an empty building known as Arnold Hall.  The old building has been without tenants for quite a while, but now someone is finally moving in. It may be somewhat of a shock to learn that the building will be used as a federal prison. "It will actually be a what is called an 'express' federal prison," said Warden Shawn Shank. "It will be a small prison used to temporarily hold prisoners, usually when they are being transported for some reason."  Warden Shank explained that Point Pleasant was the perfect location. "You have a train station, easy access to multiple airports, and it's close to major highways. We can even bring in fugitives by boat if we have to." Warden Shank will be running the small prison with Director Red Emption. Together, Shawn Shank, Red Emption, and a few corrections officers will oversee up to 8 prisoners. "Our aim is to make this a model penal instit...

Hydration is extremely important for everyone, and no one knows this better than the Stanley Water Bottle Company. Stanley went from being the bottle of choice for hunters and campers, to being the most important status symbol for America's teens and tween girls. These oversized bottles with their germ-exposed straws and internal lead seals, are practically required if a schoolgirl expects to have any sort of social life. That's why every girl in America is jealous of 11-year-old Kara Boutstatus, winner of the largest water bottle ever made by Stanley. "I'm not that surprised I won," says young Kara. "The way the contest worked was that the more bottles you own, the more chances you have to win, and I have, like 173 bottles, not counting the new one." Kara's family has devoted a large part of their kitchen to the storage of their daughter's bottles.  "People might say we indulge our daughter too much," says Mrs. Ima Boutstatus. "Bu...

Excitement has hit a fever pitch as everyone waits for the Moon to pass between the sun and Earth.  Although this actually happens every single month, today will be an eclipse, meaning we will be in the dark shadow of the moon for a little while. In the past, people might descend into madness as the day unexpectedly would turn to night. For us, the madness has come in the form of desperation to get protective glasses. People are reporting that eclipse glasses are selling for $500 or more. Brielle resident, Lou Kinnup, says he paid $1800 for five pairs of protective glasses. "I wish I had gone to the library sooner when they were giving out free glasses, but I totally forgot," says Kinnup. "I didn't see that I had any choice. I didn't want my wife and kids and dog to miss this thrice in a lifetime event." Officer Pat Youdown of the Brick Police Department advises everyone to avoid buying eclipse glasses from price gougers. "I advise everyone to avoid bu...