Point Pleasant Approves First Nude Beach

Point Pleasant Beach has decided to allow nude sunbathing in a designated area of the beach. Advocates of being naked hail this move as a great stride forward for those who either can't afford swimwear or who cannot abide the discomfort of wearing any clothes.

Council member, Eve Desnuda, has been the driving force behind the nude beach initative, "I just went to the council with my proposal and showed 'em what I got," said Desnuda. "I just laid bare the advantages of having a section of beach designated for those who wish to exercise their right to assemble without clothing and who want to enjoy the freedom of an all-over tan. By opening up to this underserved population, we should actually increase tourism."

Some details are still being worked out, but Desnuda promises that all will be revealed in due time. "For now, some things are still under wraps, but you can expect full disclosure as we get closer to the start of the season."

The beach will employ two police officers to patrol and ensure compliance with the nude beach rules. "Sightseers" will be strictly prohibited. The officers will also be checking that everyone on the beach is actually naked. Any clothed individuals will be asked to either get undressed or leave. Badges will be required, though with some differences. Since patrons have no clothes to attach a badge, they will be  stamped for a day pass or have the option to get a small tattoo for a seasonal badge. The officers will also carry emergency sunscreen and aloe since many visitors will be sunning areas that have never been exposed to sun before.

Council member Desnuda is very excited about the opening of the nude beach. She plans to be there on opening day handing out free bumper stickers that say, "Point Pleasant Beach: Go naked or go home!" She and her husband will also be spending time on the beach to welcome visitors. "My husband and I visited a nude beach in France back in 1971 on our honeymoon," said Desnuda. "We were crazy kids then, but we're still kids at heart. We're looking forward to enjoying the beach in our birthday suits instead of our bathing suits."

Desnuda was asked if she expects any objections to the beach from those who believe it is indecent. "I certainly hope not," she said. "Throughout this process I've had nothing to hide and we really haven't had any objections. Maybe at the last minute we'll uncover a few, but I doubt it. After all, almost everyone I know was born naked and most people bathe naked. Being nude on the beach really isn't that much different."

Comments

  1. Christian Martin NicholsonMay 3, 2021 at 10:49 PM

    Wonderful idea. I enjoyvSandy Hook. Full disclosure & being able to express yourself w/o shame is well needed healthy. Tanning your entire body �� thank u for going the extra mile for us who l now better
    The Sun on the entire body ❤ Full on free vitamin D. I enjoy using coconut oil. Never sunscreen for myself

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 8, 2021 at 6:33 AM

    cant wait to go

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownJune 6, 2021 at 2:18 PM

    Can you bring a cooler to the beach

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 22, 2022 at 8:00 PM

    Did it ever open... Anyone wanna go with me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousMay 30, 2022 at 8:08 PM

      Uh it’s satire. This isn’t real. Lol

      Delete
  5. AnonymousJune 23, 2022 at 11:15 PM

    And to have the nice sand down here compared to the hook what a difference

    ReplyDelete

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