Brick Rejects Shake Shack, Approves Unique Chicken Eatery

In what has become a common occurrence in Brick, a popular restaurant chain will not be opening. The zoning board rejected a proposal for a new Shake Shack franchise. However, this rejection opened the door for another restaurant. The board granted approval to Pickin' Chicken which hopes to open by December.

Pickin' Chicken is the first restaurant chain in America to offer patrons live chickens. "It's kind of like the lobster tanks at seafood restaurants," said company spokesperson Tyson Broiler. "Just the way customers can choose their lobster while it's alive, our customers can choose their chicken from a special coop."  As Broiler explained, once the chicken is chosen, it is placed in a patented machine that gently kills the bird, plucks it clean, and delivers it to the chef for preparation. Their fast cook techniques mean that a chicken can go from coop to table in only 20 minutes.

"I guarantee that we serve the freshest chicken anyone has ever tasted," said Broiler. "We call it the Pick-Pluck-Prepare method. You pick your bird, we pluck it and prepare it for you. Once you try a chicken straight from the coop, you'll never want a regular old chicken again." 

Spokesperson for the mayor, Annie Daynow, said that Pickin' Chicken will be a great addition to Brick. "I love fresh, natural foods," she said. "There's nothing like an apple right from the tree, or oysters on the half shell, or having the first Twinkie from a new box. Pickin' Chicken is just like that! During the negotiating process I flew to Georgia for a fun-filled week where they introduced me to their Pick-Pluck-Prepare chicken. It was wonderful. And my entire trip was generously paid for by the taxpayers of Brick!"

Daynow said that the chicken license for Pickin' Chicken is being expedited so the store can open in December. "I know everyone in the area is going to love it." she said. "My kids are really looking forward to seeing the cute chickens in their coops, and then eating them soon after!"

Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 24, 2022 at 9:57 PM

    Where in Brick, will they be opening?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 24, 2022 at 10:42 PM

    Really, wait until animal and bird activists start picketing outside the place. The township will wish they approved Shake Shop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 11:01 AM

      You DO know this is a satrye site right?!? 🤣🤣

      Delete
  3. AnonymousOctober 24, 2022 at 10:55 PM

    I do not want to see the chicken I am eating. That's disgusting..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 11:01 AM

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

      Delete
  4. AnonymousOctober 24, 2022 at 11:29 PM

    Would never eat there. Totally disgusting idea. Bad idea Brick.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousOctober 24, 2022 at 11:57 PM

    No way would I Ever pick a live chicken to eat for dinner. Fresh food doesn’t equal picking & killing a chicken ( & gently in a machine). Still killing a live animal.. this is horrifying ..

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 3:29 AM

    I cannot stop laughing, tears are running down my face. Tyson Broiler what a great name. Annie Daynow, spokesman for the Mayor, so appropriate. Pick-pluck-prepare, how can anyone actually believe this story.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 7:03 AM

    I would never step foot in that place. This town is becoming a garbage dump !

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 9:06 AM

    This is awful. I will never step foot into a place like this. No one wants to see what they are eating let alone knowing it’s being killed. Worst place ever for Brick😡😡

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 9:46 AM

      Never walked by a lobster tank or a fish stand? They can take all my money. I can’t wait to order dinner from here.

      Delete
  9. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 10:03 AM

    Are you kidding me? Never ever going there!

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 10:43 AM

    Hysterical “Annie Daynow”. I can’t believe some think this is real

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 11:02 AM

    This is not real !!

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 11:02 AM

    The fact that so many believe this KILLS ME ...HAHAHAHAHAH

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 12:29 PM

    I was hoping this was a joke but how did it get into my email?

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousOctober 25, 2022 at 10:52 PM

    Oh my God, as I read through this I kept saying “this is got to be a joke “! This is so funny I was literally almost in tears from laughing!!!! Thank you for ending my evening on a high note!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousOctober 26, 2022 at 5:09 PM

    Not sure I want my chicken killed by machine. I’d rather choke it myself

    ReplyDelete

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