Bay Head Man Begins Working on His 2020 New Year's Resolutions with Only Days to Spare

It's the time of year when people start thinking about their new year's resolutions, trying to decide on ways they want to improve themselves in the coming year. Bay Head dentist, Dr. Horton Hoo, is also thinking about new year's resolutions, but he is thinking about the ones he made last year. "I got too ambitious with my resolutions last year," said Dr. Hoo. "I don't know why I thought I could do so much. Unfortunately my daughter recently reminded me that of the five resolutions I made, I haven't done any of them!" Dr. Hoo is not one to give up easily. He has decided that he will accomplish all of his resolutions in the few days he has left this year.

Dr. Hoo's 13 year old daughter, Cyndy Lou, is skeptical of her father. "There is no way he's doing it. He made five resolutions: lose 10 pounds, learn a new language, clean the garage, be nicer to people, and read ten books. How is he going to get any of those done in just a few days? He's been at it for three days now and he's put away a few tools and tried to figure out shortcuts. He doesn't look any thinner, either."

"I know it's a long shot, but I'm not giving up," said Dr. Hoo. "I got a new sauna suit, one of those that make you sweat a lot, and I've been running a couple of miles a day. I've started organizing the garage, and maybe it's cheating a little, but I've already listened to three audiobooks. Oh, and I've started learning a new language."

Cyndy Lou laughed when she heard her father say that. "He's learning Klingon from Star Trek! He says he chose it because it has the fewest words and rules. It's not a real language! Unless you're a starship captain, it's pretty useless. He walks around saying 'Jih am a qel' which he says means, 'I am a doctor,'  or 'Qapla'  that he says means 'success.' If you ask me, he's not going to have any  'Qapla'  with this whole resolution thing. And did he tell you the books he's reading, I mean, listening to? Harry Potter! Dad's already seen the movies so I doubt he's even paying attention to the audio books."

Dr. Hoo doesn't get mad when his daughter doubts him. He says it's part of his resolution to be nicer to people. He doesn't even mind that she is planning a series of tests for him just after midnight on New Year's day. "Cyndy Lou told me she is preparing questions about all the books I'm reading, and that she's already found a Klingon translator online so she's going to quiz me about that too. She'll also inspect the garage and call one of my friends at random and ask if they think I've been nicer. Then I have to get on a scale and check my weight. I plan on shaving my head and eating nothing for two days before the weigh-in to guarantee I will be down the full ten pounds."

"He'll never make it," said Cyndy Lou. "I'm going to make sure we have lots of shrimp cocktail and chocolate pie on New Year's eve. Dad can't resist either one."

It is still unclear why it is so important to Dr. Hoo to achieve his goal. Most people do not follow through with resolutions, and aren't troubled by it. "It's just not in my nature to go back on my word," said Horton. "When I made the resolutions a year ago I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. I'll give it my all, 100 percent."

Cyndy Lou Hoo was asked if she had made any New Year's resolutions for 2020. "I only made one," she said. "I promised to not be so hard on my dad. He's lucky I chose that or I never would have let him get away with audio books and Klingon."

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