Local Man: "Cicadas Ate My House!"

Anthony "Ant" Insetto lives in Bay Head, but he owns multiple properties in the area. He recently acquired his 4th rental property in Point Beach and was in the process of gutting the home when something unexpected happened. "Cicadas ate my house!" said Ant Insetto.

Cicadas rising from the ground throughout the state is not surprising. This year the insects are waking up from a 17 year hibernation and are emerging by the millions. When they awake it is understandable that they will be hungry.

Dr. Bugsy Zikade of the Rutgers Department of Bugology said that he has never seen such destructive Cicadas. "Of course, Cicadas can be destructive when they reach adulthood, but the damage is usually limited to crops and foliage. For the Cicadas to be able to destroy a house, they had to be really unique." When Zikade saw one of the Cicadas that had damaged the house, he was amazed.

"These Cicadas had teeth!" said Dr. Zikade. "And not little teeth, but shark-like teeth that were massive for their body size. This is certainly a new type of Cicada, not seen before." Dr. Zikade has dubbed the insect the "Jersey Cicada." Dr. Zikade believes that the evolution of teeth makes sense. A Cicada that can eat more things has a much better chance of survival.

That is little comfort to Insetto. "My house has like a million little bites taken out of it!" said Insetto. "My insurance agent says he has no idea if something like this is even covered. Is everyone going to need Cicada insurance now, too?!"


Dr. Zikade doesn't think there is any reason to panic yet. "As far as we know, Mr. Insetto's house was the only one that the Jersey Cicadas ate. There is most likely something specific about this structure that attracted them. Once we find out what that thing is, we should also know how to repel them from structures."

Until a proper deterrent is found for the Jersey Cicadas, Dr. Zikade recommends that homeowners remain vigilant and buy a lot of bug spray.

Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 3, 2021 at 12:45 PM

    dont fret call terminix

    ReplyDelete
  2. missygJune 5, 2021 at 8:53 PM

    Photos are so fake it's not even funny, obviously you're not a real journalist

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownJune 5, 2021 at 9:22 PM

      I take umbrage! I am a fine journalist who carefully researches each and every one of my stories by making up a lot of stuff and then making pictures to match. If that isn't journalism, I don't know what is!

      Delete
    2. UnknownJune 13, 2021 at 11:50 AM

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...Priceless!

      Delete

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