Wegmans and Ikea Coming to Brick?

Several businesses, including chic retailers and beloved restaurants, have announced their intentions regarding Brick locations. In recent years, Brick has become one of the hottest areas for corporate expansion. Examples include the much anticipated Italian market, Corrados, and fried chicken emporium, Royal Farms. 

Assistant to the mayor, Annie Daynow, said she is excited about all the great new stores and restaurants coming to our area.  "I have great news," said Daynow. "Both Corrados and Royal Farms have informed me that they are on track to open sometime in the future. Corrados believes that their opening is guaranteed before the return of Haley's Comet. Royal Farms said that they will open as soon as they can hire enough staff, test their fryers, order more chicken, repaint the interior, test the fryers again, bring in a Feng Shui expert, and make sure the napkin dispensers are full. So that's good news."

Annie Daynow then discussed the future of other businesses in Brick. "For a long time, people have wanted to see a Wegmans in Brick. Well, when I spoke with them recently, they said that they will open a store here when pigs fly! So, keep your eyes open for some airborne pigs because Wegmans won't be far behind. Cracker Barrel also has stated they will be opening a restaurant here when Hell freezes over, so, ya know, with climate change anything is possible. And finally, Ikea, the Swedish retail giant said we can expect to see one of their stores in Brick on the 12th of Never. I assume that 'Never' means November is Swedish, which is pretty soon!"

Local retail and restaurant enthusiast, Gavin Uppwaiting, says he'll believe it when he sees it. "I doubt anything will ever open. They keep telling us it will be soon, but then nothing happens. It's like that old saying, 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, means these places are never opening.' Last Christmas I got a Royal Farms gift card. I decided I better just leave it to my daughter in my will since I probably won't ever be using it, and I'm only 47."

Annie Daynow believes that Gavin Uppwaiting shouldn't be giving up waiting. "I'm sure we will be seeing many of these locations opening any day now," said Annie Daynow. "These things can take time, but we will get there. After all, look at how much progress has been made on the old Foodtown property. We should see businesses opening up there really soon!"

Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 15, 2022 at 1:30 PM

    Enjoyed the humor as it is all so true👍

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJune 5, 2022 at 9:03 PM

    Not really that funny

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJune 10, 2022 at 7:00 PM

    Humor was pretty good, but I just want some ROYAL FARMS CHICKEN.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousSeptember 20, 2022 at 3:08 PM

      Now they say that RF will move and open at the old Boston Market and Welsh Farms is going where RF is..Don't understand that because it was street ordinances and disability access was holding up RF..that still must be the case for Welsh Farms so who knows

      Delete

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