Wild Red Panda Loose in Point Pleasant

Red Pandas have been called nature's jesters by my friend who knows nothing about them. They are cute, cuddly creatures from China, not to be confused with the Giant Panda. The Red Panda is red, while Giant Pandas are black and white. Everyone loves Giant Pandas but are somewhat ambivalent towards the red version. Nonetheless, seeing this exotic creature is something you might expect at a zoo or if you are in the Himalayas. Imagine the surprise when a wild Red Panda was sighted in Point Pleasant.

Point Pleasant resident, Faye Kanooz, first saw the creature in her backyard last week. "I was flabbergasted," said Kanooz. "I looked out my window and there was this red bear of some sort. I didn't have a chance to grab a camera, but I immediately made a sketch of the wild animal and called the police."

After viewing the drawing, the police referred the case to Muskox Bob, a local animal expert and trapper. "To be honest, I wasn't convinced by the sketch. There's a lot of wackadoos out there who claim they've seen zebras or aliens or bigfoot. Usually it just turns out to be a dog or some hairy guy. But when Faye Kanooz sent me the video she took the next day, I changed my mind. That was clearly a Red Panda and it was going wild!"

Muskox Bob can't imagine where the Red Panda came from. "Maybe she snuck aboard a Chinese cargo ship full of bamboo. Or maybe she was being kept as an illegal pet and got away. It really doesn't matter. I've just gotta catch the critter."

Wild Red Panda spotted in Point Pleasant along the canal.

Many people are not convinced that this isn't just fake news from Faye Kanooz. They point to the time she claimed to have seen Elvis at an arcade on the boardwalk. It later turned out that it was just an odd man in a sparkly jumpsuit. She insists that this time will be different.

"When everyone sees the video of that red rascal going wild in my backyard, they'll believe me," said Faye Kanooz.

Muskox Bob has yet to catch the Red Panda. He is currently working on a humane cage for the unusually large beast. In the meantime, he advises residents to be cautious. "Red Pandas aren't very dangerous, but you never know what they might do. I recommend you keep all of your bamboo indoors until after she is caught."