Bay Head Creates SWAT Team to Control Unwanted Beach Visitors

In recent years, Jersey Shore beaches have been dealing with more and more unwanted visitors. These "troublemakers" will often swarm beaches and ruin the day for those hoping to enjoy a fun beach outing. Bay Head has decided to be proactive in dealing with this problem.

This week the Bay Head Police announced the formation of their own SWAT Team. This special unit of six new highly trained officers will begin patrolling the beaches on July 2. The move is designed to provide a fun and safe experience for beachgoers.

Sargeant Buzz Coleoptera leads the new SWAT team and says he and his officers are ready for whatever problems may arise. "We're all well trained and have the best equipment available. We are prepared with a combination of chemical deterrents and lethal tools. We can respond at a moment's notice to any situation that arises. Our first job is to try to isolate and contain any incursions on the beach. If things get out of control, though, we are prepared to respond with an appropriate Raid."

Bay Head beachgoer, Sandy Doons, thinks the SWAT team is a great idea. "I know that other Shore town have been dealing with these problems that pop-up. It's nice to see that Bay Head has decided to deal with the trouble before it starts. I feel much safer now."

Sargeant Coleoptera says that his unit has developed plans to deal with different situations. "At any time, we will have two officers patrolling on ATVs and two on foot. When we get a call, we will immediately move in to get rid of the troublemakers on the beach. We are prepared to use any means necessary."

For small problems, the SWAT Team relies on their electric fly swatters. "In most cases, the swatter is our weapon of choice. The swatter is very effective in getting rid of greenhead flies" says Coleoptera. "We also provide effective insect repellents to beachgoers. For most incidents this is enough. But if we're dealing with a swarm of mosquitoes or flies, we may have to resort to Raid or other bug spray. After that, the area will be safe for beach visitors."

Greenhead flies and mosquitoes are supposed to be particularly bad this summer, making it more important than ever to have the Bay Head SWAT Team on the job. The additional $7.2 million it will cost the town seems a small price to pay to keep the beaches safe.

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