Corrado's Closing Brick Store They Never Opened

Corrado's supermarket made the sad announcement today that after zero years in business they will be closing their Brick store permanently. "It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that after zero years in Brick, Corrado's has decided to close," said spokesperson Nevah Opennin. 

"Years ago, when this store never opened, we knew that we had found a wonderful community that would never get to appreciate our unique Italian market," Opennin continued. "It is truly sad to be saying goodbye to the Shore area after never getting to know any of its great people. In the years we have not been open, you all never seemed like family."

Local Corrado's enthusiast, Ima Stunned of Point Pleasant, couldn't believe the news. "I'm, uh, stunned," said Ima Stunned, struggling to find the right words. "Corrado's has meant so little to this community. They've always been my favorite store that never opened. My family is so upset about this. We haven't been shopping there for years. It's like losing an old friend that you never met."

Spokesperson for the Mayor of Brick, Annie Daynow, said she still is hopeful that Corrado's will change their mind. "Having a Corrado's sign up on a vacant store has been so important to our community. I am currently trying to convince them to keep their signs up and provide frequent updates saying they might open someday. If they ever answer the phone, I'm sure I can talk them into it."

Nevah Openin said that the decision to close is final. "It's been a good run of never opening and we've loved not being a part of the shore area, but it was just the right thing for us to do. And I hope you believe me when I say this has nothing to do with $1.5 million in unpaid rent or an eviction. We were never going to open anyway."

In related news, Royal Farms announced that the opening of the Brick store has been delayed. Several employees have developed allergies to chicken and until that situation is resolved, they will be unable to open. They are hoping to open sometime in December, year unspecified.

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