Recent Storms Bring Canal Surfing to Point Pleasant

Minnie Simmons has been surfing the Jersey Shore since she was six. Now at the ripe old age of 27, she considers herself an old-timer. She is a respected member of the local surfing community with a unique distinction, "I'm one of the few people who has surfed the canal three times," she said. "A lot of board buckaroos think canal surfing is the ultimate ride of the Valkyries. It really is one of the best summer squashes you'll ever have." Simmons, who is also an expert in surfer slang, is considered the best canal surfer by her peers. 

Only a few people have experienced "surfing the canal." Surfers already know that storms on the Atlantic can produce some gnarly waves, but locals occasionally see fast moving water pushed into the canal. "It's pretty awesome," said Simmons. "When you got a nature tantrum pushing the salty soup up the Point gap, you get a really rad ride."

It's a special challenge to surf the canal. The current, while much faster than usual, is still relatively slow. Simmons says that keeping your balance is not easy. "It can be hard to keep your scales level," said Simmons. "You'll see some crawdads out there trying to crumble the cookie instead of focusing on raking the leaves. If you don't know how to do a Seattle paddle, you may find yourself in a Jenga jumble, which in the canal could be a real Phantom Menace. But if you can spike the punch just right, you'll never forget the feeling of shredding the cheddar!"

This year two surfers experienced their first canal rides. Neither was able to make it all the way through. "The newbie scoobies usually have to take a Point break during their channel crossing," said Simmons. "But me and some of the other water walkers were able to rock the casbah all the way."

Because the circumstances for canal surfing are so rare, Simmons says she really feels lucky whenever she gets to experience it. "Being a rider on the storm is like a real Crayola 64. Nothing beats the feeling of tripping the light fantastic through the metal river. It's like, playing the banjo of love on the broken side of the rainbow with cashew butter giving you that feeling of radio free Europe on Christmas Eve with the Geico gecko of waves, ya know?"

Truer words were never spoken.