Royal Farms Superfans, Bruce and John, First in Line for Grand Opening

 With great fanfare and joy, Royal Farms in Brick has finally opened. After years of waiting, area residents can finally enjoy the crispy chicken corpses that made the store famous. For two friends who consider themselves "superfans" of Royal Farms, the wait was an eternity. 


Bruce could hardly contain his excitement.  "Ya know, ever since my glory days on streets of Philadelphia, I've loved Royal Farms chicken," he said. "I've done a lot of travelling in my life. I could never stay put and my family said I was born to run. But I was so happy so settle down in my hometown at the Jersey shore. The only thing I was missing was Royal Farms chicken. Now that I can get my favorite chicken right here, it's like Santa Claus is comin' to town."

John was just as excited as his friend about the grand opening. "I've been waiting since the they tore down the store that was here and I saw the walls come crumbling down," John said. "Then when it took so long for Royal Farms to open, Bruce would mess with me and say they were gonna build little pink houses here instead. I got so tired of waiting that I went to city hall to protest, but when I fight authority, authority always wins. There were times I thought this day would never come,"

The two friends waited all night to be the first customers in the store. When it did open, they admit that they probably overindulged.


"Without my Royal Farms chicken for so long, it was like I had a hungry heart," Bruce said. "We stood out here in cold so long, we had to jump and dance around to stay warm. We were dancing in the dark when someone opened the door and let us in! Man, what a great moment. Then we ate so much chicken, that I got awful heartburn. It's like I'm on fire. But it was worth it."

John thinks he ate even more than his friend. "My neighbors, Jack and Diane, asked me to pick up some chicken for them, but I ended up eating theirs, too. My stomach is killing me, but it hurts so good!"

The friends had eaten their fill and decided it was time to head home. As they climbed into Bruce's pink Cadillac, the two men said in unison, "Now that we got Royal Farms, there'll be no more wasted days!"

Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 11, 2022 at 9:57 PM

    And I'm sitting at the Pony as rumor has it he'd show up for tonight's show..dam..I should have stayed home and had chicken for dinner!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousDecember 12, 2022 at 2:08 PM

    I may just be a Jersey Girl, but I’m happy we can have a ball in a Small Town like Brick eating good chicken!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousDecember 13, 2022 at 9:13 PM

    I know its fake,
    But Bruce Springsteen is a douche lol

    ReplyDelete

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