Brown Water in Canal Caused by Candy Factory Accident

On March 3, Point Pleasant resident, Anne Onimous, looked out her window and was disturbed by what she saw. "The water was brown!" she said. "I've lived along the canal for years and I've never seen the water like that!" It wouldn't be that unusual for the canal to look a bit muddy from time to time, but Mrs. Ominous insists this was different. "God as my witness, it was browner than it's ever been!"

Mrs. Onimous contacted the police, the Coast Guard, and her cousin, Lucy, who she says "is really smart." Unfortunately, no one had an answer. "Sure, the water cleared up, but it happened again at least once!" she said. "I'm terrified of what it could be!" After an extensive investigation, the Beacon has finally discovered the source.

Last year, with very little fanfare, a candy factory moved its operations from Europe to a location on Osborn Island in the Manasquan River. "My factory is not very big," says owner Charles Buckitt. "I have a very small workforce, so the island seemed like a great location to build. I can send my product out by boat and the island makes it easier to protect all my candy making secrets. At first things were going well, but then I had some problems with my employees."

The factory workers are all members of the English labor union, Unionized Makers of Puddings Alliance/Local Unionized Makers of Puddings Alliance (UMPA/LUMPAs). A spokesman for the union, who asked to be known only as "Mr. Orange," says the problem is with management, not the workers. "Working conditions have never been great," says Mr. Orange. "Even when we were in Europe the owner always treated us like the little guys. But the way the place was managed was always kind of wonky. The breaking point came when four kids were injured in industrial accidents while on a tour. We hoped the new owner would make things better, but he just ran away and brought us all here. We can't keep up with his demands. We're always short-staffed."

According to Mr. Orange there have been two big chocolate leaks at the factory. He says they warned Mr. Buckitt that the chocolate would flow into the canal. "Buckitt said that there was no earthly way of knowing which direction the chocolate was going, but sure enough, it went right down the canal. I swear, that guy lives in a world of pure imagination," says Mr. Orange.

Charles Buckitt says the problems are not that serious.  "Any new factory is going to have some issues," he asserts. "We've got the situation under control and don't foresee any future problems."

The UMPA/LUMPAs are not as optimistic. "We've heard this same song and dance over and over," says Mr. Orange. "We don't want a work stoppage, but if we have to, we will go on strike like the UMPA/LUMPAs dutifully do."