The Bay Head Beacon

Many years ago, one of the Presidents, maybe Truman or Kennedy, started pardoning Thanksgiving turkeys. These lucky birds would end up in a petting zoo or friendly farm instead of on a platter covered in gravy. Over the years, other local governments, including Point Pleasant Borough, have adopted the tradition. In a ceremony at city hall that kicks off the holiday season, the mayor pardons one bird that would otherwise get cooked and eaten. This year, things didn't go as planned. "After careful consideration, the mayor and council have decided to deny a pardon to Tony the Turkey," said assistant to the mayor Holden DeLine. "Tony has been a particularly naughty turkey and does not deserve a pardon. Instead, a pardon will be granted to very well-behaved turkey named Kate."  Somehow, Tony must have realized that his pardon would not be granted because early this morning he escaped. "When the time came for the turkey to be prepped for the Thanksgiving dinner, ...

It's finally happening! After years of waiting, area residents finally got some good news about the Royal Farms in Brick. Circle the date December 8 on your calendar because there is a strong possibility that there is maybe a bit of a chance that Royal Farms could quite possibly be considering that it may almost be time to open their doors to the public. "This is such great news," said assistant to the mayor, Annie Daynow. "All of us in Brick have been waiting for this day for years. I can't believe that we are so close to maybe having Royal Farms open. I know that they have promised to open many times before, but you know what they say, 12th time is the charm!"  Frita Poyo, spokesperson for Royal Farms, said that the public has nothing to worry about. "Really, this date of December 8 is almost certainly a pretty good possibility that we will be opening," she said. "It's been a long road getting to this point. We've had a lot of hardsh...

When Pete Zuhria opened Pete Zuhria's Pizzeria in Point Borough, he knew that there might be times he would have to deal with difficult customers, but he never thought he'd be haunted by one. The property was previously leased to Tom Aitopy who ran Tom Aitopy's Tomato Pies. It is believed that the ghost was once a customer of the former establishment. "I've got nothing against ghosts," said Zuhria, "The problem is that in life this ghost was a Karen." A "Karen" is a person who has an extreme sense of entitlement. Karens feel they deserve special treatment and become angered when they think they are being slighted, even when they aren't. It can be quite annoying to encounter a Karen in the wild. Zuhria says that his ghost Karen can be just as annoying. "We never know when the ghost will pop up, "said Zuhria. "I could be getting a pizza ready for someone and she's suddenly screaming, 'I said no pepperoni! Where'...

In what has become a common occurrence in Brick, a popular restaurant chain will not be opening. The zoning board rejected a proposal for a new Shake Shack franchise. However, this rejection opened the door for another restaurant. The board granted approval to Pickin' Chicken which hopes to open by December. Pickin' Chicken is the first restaurant chain in America to offer patrons live chickens. "It's kind of like the lobster tanks at seafood restaurants," said company spokesperson Tyson Broiler. "Just the way customers can choose their lobster while it's alive, our customers can choose their chicken from a special coop."  As Broiler explained, once the chicken is chosen, it is placed in a patented machine that gently kills the bird, plucks it clean, and delivers it to the chef for preparation. Their fast cook techniques mean that a chicken can go from coop to table in only 20 minutes. "I guarantee that we serve the freshest chicken anyone has ...

No one could have predicted it, but since it premiered on the History Channel two years ago, the show America's Next Top Psychic (ANTP) has become one of the network's most popular shows. The show is a contest that pits psychics against each other to determine who has the greatest psychic ability. The winner receives $100K and the title America's Top Psychic. This season, a local clairvoyant from Point Pleasant, Crystal Bawl, will be trying to earn that title. Crystal, whose professional name is Miss Fortune, is a natural for the show. For the past seven years she has been using her special abilities to help locals communicate with spirits and prepare for the future. She even helped the police solve a crime, although that was just because she reported seeing a car being stolen. Nonetheless, her supernatural gifts cannot be denied. "I knew that I would be chosen for the show," said Miss Fortune. "I am no stranger to seeing the future, ya know." She said t...

Minnie Simmons has been surfing the Jersey Shore since she was six. Now at the ripe old age of 27, she considers herself an old-timer. She is a respected member of the local surfing community with a unique distinction, "I'm one of the few people who has surfed the canal three times," she said. "A lot of board buckaroos think canal surfing is the ultimate ride of the Valkyries. It really is one of the best summer squashes you'll ever have." Simmons, who is also an expert in surfer slang, is considered the best canal surfer by her peers.  Only a few people have experienced "surfing the canal." Surfers already know that storms on the Atlantic can produce some gnarly waves, but locals occasionally see fast moving water pushed into the canal. "It's pretty awesome," said Simmons. "When you got a nature tantrum pushing the salty soup up the Point gap, you get a really rad ride." It's a special challenge to surf the canal. The c...

This week the famous "Sinatra House" on the Point Pleasant Boardwalk was put up for sale. For almost three decades, visitors to the Boardwalk could enjoy hearing songs by "Old Blue Eyes" playing through speakers outside the gorgeous home as they strolled by. Considering that Frank Sinatra recorded over 1,200 songs, there was a lot of music for everyone to enjoy. What some people do now know is that there is another "Sinatra House" on the Boardwalk that is also up for sale. A short distance from the well-known "Sinatra House" there is a house that also plays music for the public, but without the reputation. "I've been a huge Sinatra fan ever since I was young," said homeowner Boots Walken. "When I heard that other house playing the greatest hits of Frank Sinatra, I thought I would do the same. The difference is I'm a fan of Nancy Sinatra. " Nancy Sinatra is the daughter of Frank Sinatra. While also a singer, she never a...

A lost "Benny" is on the loose in the local area. He has been sighted in Point Borough, Point Beach, and Bay Head. With the summer season over, visitors have returned to their homes up north, but apparently one Benny was left behind. Officer Annette Izneeded of the Point Pleasant Beach Police says that from time to time someone accidentally leaves the shore but forgets a beloved family member. "It doesn't happen too often," said Officer Izneeded. "But sometimes as they hurry to pack up their car, a family will lose track and a Benny will get away. My guess is that's what happened this time. Now we have a lost Benny running around in our area." Officer Izneeded says that the stray Benny has been spotted by numerous people, but so far no one has been able to catch him. "A lost Benny can be very scared and will tend to run when he sees anyone. This Benny is pretty skittish. Some police officers have approached the Benny a couple of times, but eac...

g Many people don't realize that Brick Township was named after some guy called Joseph Brick and not those blocky things used to make walls. Ironically, a town named Wall is right next to Brick. If only they could have could have merged into a town called Brick-Wall! But I digress. Since so few people have ever heard of Joseph Brick, or his sun-burned son, Red Brick, the powers that be in the Township of Brick have decided it is time to move on from the old name and find something new. "The mayor and council decided that they wanted a name that would move our fast-growing town into the future," said spokesperson for the mayor, Annie Daynow. "The idea is very popular with residents. I asked three people and two really liked it!" The council has narrowed the name choices down to 8. Shown as they will appear on the township welcome sign, these will all appear on the November referendum: Residents can expect to receive letters with complete information early in Sept...

Renowned chef, Lumiere Mouche, has always loved experimenting with unusual foods. Growing up in Lyon, France, she learned to cook from her grandmother before attending culinary school in Paris. "My grandmother was the one who taught me that the exotic could be delicious. She would cook with almost any plant she found in her garden, and while we often became violently ill after eating her dishes, often she would create something truly wonderful." Later, Chef Mouche spent several years as a dessert chef in some of the best restaurants in New York, bringing her unique approach to the desserts she served. "It was a great experience for me, and if some customers had not become violently ill after eating my banana peel tarts, I might still be working in the city." Luckily for the Jersey Shore, the city's loss is our gain. Chef Mouche recently opened her patisserie called Cafe Mouche in Point Pleasant Beach and her unique approach is winning raves from her patrons. Her...

With temperatures in the 90s and heat indexes well over 100, the shore area has been sweltering. The heatwave could extend into the coming week and, naturally, people are heading to the beach to seek some relief. What they didn't expect was that a trip to the beach could end up with them spontaneously combusting.  "This recent heatwave has created a surprising number of spontaneous human combustions," said Dr. Sonny Byrne, a professor of climatology at Stockton University. "This is usually extremely rare, but we have already had nine reports of people catching fire on New Jersey beaches."  Dr. Byrne explained that with the right combination of high temperature, bright sunlight, and certain flammable sunscreens, a person can catch fire. "We have found that some sunscreens have a very low flashpoint, which is the temperature at which substances catch fire. Some oil based ones can ignite at less than 100 degrees. For this reason, many brands of sunscreen are n...

After the recent Corrado's fiasco, area residents finally got some good retail news. Royal Farms, the popular purveyor of perfectly prepared poultry, has announced it will open its Brick store in July. Unfortunately, they will not be selling any chicken for the foreseeable future. "I am very happy to announce that after a long delay, Royal Farms of Brick will be officially opening its doors on July 21," said Royal Farms executive, Frita Poyo. She quickly added, "Just don't expect any fried chicken. Sorry." Although fried chicken is the Royal Farms claim to fame, the Brick location has run into a bit of a snag. Brick Township spokesperson, Annie Daynow, explained the problem. "When Royal Farms decided to open here several years ago, they applied for and received a chicken license. Unfortunately, since it took so long for them to open, their chicken license has expired. Now they have to go through the entire application process again." A chicken lice...

Canadian geese are considered beautiful by some. and invasive poop machines by others. Many towns have been grappling with how to deal with these large birds that can ruin open spaces by tearing up the grass and pooping copiously. Recently, Spring Lake was the subject of controversy when it was discovered that geese were being rounded up and euthanized. While poop haters were pleased to be rid of the geese, nature lovers were appalled. Nonetheless, most towns believe something has to be done to control the population of "poop birds." Bay Head resident, Jay Gosling, saw that geese were becoming a problem in his town. "The geese, bless their little hearts, are a menace. They've ruined our lawn, the backyard has so much goose poop that it looks like we own three huge dogs, and the public parks are a mess, too. Did you know that Canadian Geese drop up to one and a half pounds of poop every day! That's crazy and disgusting. It's lucky they don't poop much when...

In recent years, Jersey Shore beaches have been dealing with more and more unwanted visitors. These "troublemakers" will often swarm beaches and ruin the day for those hoping to enjoy a fun beach outing. Bay Head has decided to be proactive in dealing with this problem. This week the Bay Head Police announced the formation of their own SWAT Team. This special unit of six new highly trained officers will begin patrolling the beaches on July 2. The move is designed to provide a fun and safe experience for beachgoers. Sargeant Buzz Coleoptera leads the new SWAT team and says he and his officers are ready for whatever problems may arise. "We're all well trained and have the best equipment available. We are prepared with a combination of chemical deterrents and lethal tools. We can respond at a moment's notice to any situation that arises. Our first job is to try to isolate and contain any incursions on the beach. If things get out of control, though, we are prepared ...